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Cadw'r Ddysgl yn Wastad
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Funny how I can have several fights in one day. Really, I'm a fairly nice person on the whole but today has been one friggin thing after another that has shown me my lowly place in the grand scheme of my rotten, selfish familys idea of a life for Mum.

I bought myself two CDs a few days ago and I really wanted to listen to them. I put the first one on, Led Zepplin, and a minute later the Lord of the manor came home a told me that 1). he didn't realize that I was a fan (as if its a desease) and 2). he was unable to concentrate while the music was blasting, (my stereo volume goes up to 34 without any distortion and I had it at 10).

Then, OH MY GOD, I go to check my email and the Lord has decided to open his own gmail account thereby deleting mine from the cyber universe. I have NO account now as he stole my last account (with another shitty provider) for his own selfish purposes, AND THEN DELETED MY LATEST ONE!!!!!! Am I here or is it all some nightmare I'm having from which I will wake and realize that I am a real person, a person who has rights and a place in the world?

So, yes, I have lost my temper twice today as I'm beginning to feel like a non-entity here in this house that I slave over, cook for everyone in, wash everyones clothes in and CANNOT LIVE IN as a real, honest to goodness being.

Incidently, the two CDs were Pink Floyd and Led Zepplin and I was head banging for old times sake. I decided to play them anyway, louder than 10 , and felt it was worth the silent treatment that ensued for the next hour.

So, yes, I can be a bitch. But I have to be forced into it.