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Cadw'r Ddysgl yn Wastad
Sunday, March 18, 2007
I need to get back into the swing of things here. I've been a slave to others and their needs for the last 6 months and I've not spent a moment on me and what interests or inspires me. I am truly disturbed that I haven't picked up my paints or even a sketch book in all this time and the result of the neglect is a truly DULL person.

Although I'm not a particularily suspictious soul or even spiritual, I have come to believe that there might just be a master plan out there. "Why do I feel this way?", you ask? Well, its because that no matter what efforts I seem to make to steer my own path, I get run off the rails with a sickening regularity and this seems to happen as some kind of cosmic joke. Kinda like "So you think your really in control, do you? HA HA HA ".

I recognize my role in things and my duty to others but, seriously folks, this has been insane! I have done NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, but work, eat(when I remember) and sleep(when I can) for months. OH YEAH, did I forget to mention the worrying, sweating and fretting? How about the sleeplessness, the nail biting and the utter and complete despair?

Lately, my idea of a day out is a trip to my local hospital to chat about cellual science with guys in white coats. Its truly depressing, huh?

Well, to be really frank, that is what I AM....truly depressing. In fact, I am surprised that I have any friends left.

Truth is, I am fun! I am a fun person with a vibrant, albeit loud, personality who used to attract alot of people. But these last 6 months have sucked it all out of me. There is still a vein to be tapped there somewhere and I will find it..I SWEAR! Just give me some time and a little patience and the real me will reappear.