Somethings going on with me right now and I can't quite figure it out. See, thats the really cool thing about having your own blog and blog friends who visit you and leave their opinions for you to use or discard. Its a really great way to get the best from peple without hurting anyones feeling or doing something they would disapprove of (cuz they just don't know....right?) So I am going to spill my guts and you can tell me what the hell is up with me...OK?

I think I said before that both my young adult children are again living at home. I thought I was OK with this, but its really wearing me down. It makes me work harder, longer and for little or no benefit. It makes me feel old as all I seem to do is counsel them and remind them of their obligations. I dont want to do this anymore. I am sick of it. I am selfish and want my home, husband, time and space to myself. I dare not reveal this or all hell would break loose. (OH YEAH...no Dr. Philisms, OK? I hear far too many of those from my Mum who watches Phil every day).

I haven't had a vacation for a really long time, I have no time to paint or draw or write as I work 6 days a week and it feels like I'm being held hostage in my own life! Blogging has to be on someone elses time schedule as the PC is reserved for SERIOUS STUFF and as that usually takes place when I have a few extra minutes, I don't get near it. (This is my bedtime but I just had to rant first).

You know what really sucks? Even the things that I used to feel really happy about and pleased to be doing have turned into expectations and chores and it REALLY PISSES ME OFF! Things like gardening, cooking, taking care of my home, my dog, talking to friends, etc.

You may be thinking that therapy is the right course of action but if I had a few extra dollars I'd rather take myself to the BIG SMOKE and spend the day window shopping and having lunch with Cam. Can't do it. Gotta work to earn enough to feed to hoards, pay the cable, electricity, buy toilet paper.

You wanna know what I really want? I want to go to Rome. I want to see Saint Peters, I want to check out every statue, painting, frescoe and item of artwork that place has. And I want to go by myself. I want to drink coffee at a little cafe and watch people walking by. I want to sketch and to dream about life and to rest my head and my heart.

Yup...thats the ticket. Thats the therapy I need.
Tell me about Rome. Have you been there? What did you see? If not, what do you think you'd see.

Just got a cool new dash board and more toys to play with so I thought I'd make a post. Its always great to screw around with the newest stuff but then everyday life gets in the way and its days before I can return to it.

The next step for me is to buy my own PC so that I can blog, surf or just play any old time I feel like it. My PC time is severely limited to either late at night or first thing in the morning and I am not so bright then. Just wait until I get a little richer and you'll be hearing from me all the time.

The Mole is out visiting a friend right now so I scurried up to the office the minute he left so that I could get an hour in.

Ooops....HE'S HOME!!!

Back later!

After yet another "blogger" incident whereby I was unable to login to compose or to reply to other bloggers, I called the "Eveready, everhelpful, everwise guru" and again got sorted out. I am on my merry way to work right now, but when I return I intend to share all my woes with my blogger friends.

I recall saying something a while back about an artistic spree I was planning and then I just let it go and said not a word about it. Well, intentions were good, preparations were made, materials were either bought or ferreted out and all was set for the heady episode. I was psyched! All I had to do was drop Princess MustHaveA off at the departures doors at the airport and scurry home for 3 days of painting therapy.

I thought that, as I had the car (not something I usually have) and I had some cash too, I'd buy a few much-needed groceries first. So, I stopped in the local food mega plaza where it takes 15 minutes to walk from the car to the entrance way and another 15 minutes to find the milk and another 15 minutes to go through the checkout and another 15 minutes to walk through the parking lot to find the car. An hour later I was on my way home.

I put the $160 worth of groceries away, watched a soap opera (General Hospital), did the dishes for who can work in a mess? answered the phone 3 times to telemarketers and it was 7pm.

Next day, the Mole had other plans for me requiring my company, as he doesn't like to do anything alone (and NO they were not those kinds of plans), and when I checked the time again, it was 5pm.

Next day, after reviewing my options and accounting for the little time left to me for "art therapy", I surmised I was only going to frustrate myself further by starting something that I was obviously going to have to leave unfinished, once again, so I said "SCREW IT" and bought paint for my hallway ($175 worth) and began the enormous job of redoing my entrance.

Apart from my aching back, my striped dog, my empty bank account and my still-messed up psyche, I have improved the overall look of my hallway and I feel like I actually used my time well.

Being a type A, a little ADD, frustrated artist and much taken for granted Mum and wife requires that I go like stink whenever I have a few precious minutes of my own.
Its a real art that I have not yet mastered to shut out all the noise of life and cocoon myself away from all the demands of work and home. I'll keep working on this and one of these days, I WILL PAINT! Or maybe I should say, "I will paint again", as I used to actually practice being an artist.

The ceiling mural still awaits. I AM GOING TO DO SOME WORK ON IT! Just you wait and see.

Bitch Bitch Bitch....I could go on for days. This is part of why I've not been here for so long. But the bigger part is that its been hellishly hot and humid for the last 2 weeks here and to sit on a leather chair on the second floor of my dismally un-airconditionded house was just more than I could bear. Being menopausal and genetically prediposed to hating humidity, I have been tested to my very last breath.

3 days into the awful weather I drove Princess MustHaveA to the airport so she could have a wee vacation in Whistler, BC. The poor girl was sorely tired of working her 26 hours a week and had to get away so Mummy(me) drove her to her plane and home again in 40 degrees (in between work days). She(the Princess) returned 3 days ago during the massive storm that finally broke the humidity and has enjoyed glorious weather ever since!!! Of course, I had to wait for 5 hours at the airport for her and drive her back in a tornado, but then, what are Mothers for?

I'M NOT DONE BITCHING YET!!! This has been the longest, hottest, rottenest(if thats a word) summer I can remember. Have gone nowhere, worked endlessly(and NO I am no wealthier), and suffered the heat like a penitent.

I do believe I am about to go straight out of my tiny little mind.

What is good is that I have finally found my way back to my blog and it feels really good. I will take a bit of time to check in with with everyone again but "HI".

Hope you haven't given up on me.