Here we go.....
Having convinced The Mole of the usefulness of blogging and putting BB to the task as Guru, of all things Blog, The Mole has TAKEN OVER. It is virually impossible to get time on the 'ole PC anymore without him standing at my shoulder sighing and moaning and tapping his foot impatiently waiting to gorge himself on self-expression (the thing he does very well and with great results that infuriate me).

He asked me if I needed his expertise on getting my word "OUT THERE" as he has spent considerable time doing so (at the expense of quality time with yours truly) and suggested that I needed to use KEY WORDS to attract like-minded bloggers.

Well, this presented a wee problem, you see, as most of my posts refer to THE MOLE in an affectionate, yet scathing way and I was reluctant to let him know that the key words may be words he may not appreciate fully, Like "PIGGY", "UNTIDY", "LAZY BUGGER", "OBSESSIVE/COMPULSIVE" etc. You see my dilema?

SOOOO.. I say, "Sweetpea, I say things in my blog that are like a diary and are personal and sometimes they refer to you". This approach was apparently the wrong one as he ran off to the bathroom, started the water running and after 30 minutes of steam and solitude, emerged with a long list he had penned whilst soaking. It is an abreiviated version of all this "CONTESTABLE" and I hereby counter them with the following; ( oh yeah, to read THE MOLE's version see; www.greencanuck.net/rockhound/)

1. Toothpaste grevience....CRAP!!! The man cannot aim. There is tiny little splatters of spittle all over the mirror after every brushing and although I am very proud of him for diligently brushing every morning and evening, must it always end up on the mirror?

2. Toothbrush....Okay. This one only took me two years of repeated reminding. We still haven't learned to put the toothpste lid back on.

3. The Razor!!!! Ladies, are you with me on this? I have constant bleeding sores all over my legs from the use of what I consider MY RAZORS. Heaven help me if I ever try for the bikini line.

4. The smelly work sock issue. This one will never end and I am resolved of this. I find socks in every room, even on the kitchen counter and in the back yard (thanks to the dog who loves to grab the first piece of dirty laundry he can find and there are ALWAYS socks, when he greets me and run outside with it). I will live with this as long as The Mole wears socks.

5. LUNCH MESS...Oh My God!!!!!! I get up, try to find a spot on the counter to fire up the coffe maker, wait rather impatiently for the first cup while glancing every so often at the pile of dishes and old food left from the night before. The Mole sleeps all the while so I get to it and clean the kitchen..SPOTLESS! Ah Yes. All is well with the world again as there is some semblance of order to my life. AND THEN HE GETS UP...makes his tea, blogs for 2 hours, bathes and leaves the bathroom in ruin, and makes his messy lunch, therby destroying all that is good with my domestic world. THEN LEAVES. What was done is once again undone, and with such flare!

6. Wet towels. These can be found in 4 rooms. They are not all the work of The Mole, but I credit 75% of the mildew in the house to him. The worst of it is when I am tired and ready to watch TV and wind down after my lovely hot, soapy bath (which, if you read me previous post, is one of my "loved" things), I look for my PJ's and find them hanging where they are supposed to be but under a soaking wet towel that has been wicking moisture into my bed wear for the entire day. AUGH!!!!

7. And then there is the heat, the thermostat, the thing which causes not only The Mole distress, but my entire family. I am not tolerant of FORCED AIR HEATING and suffer all kinds of nasty side-effects from the wretched stuff. And besides my physical discomfort, I pay the stupid gas bill and, let me tell you, it's huge. If others within the household could be trusted to turn the damn heating down at night, I might be a bit more tolerant, but having woken from "Dantesque nightmares" of climbing through the window on a rope from the flames of hell because the furnace is belching hot air in the wee hours of the night, or soaking through my nighty and thinking I need to buy some Depends undergarments, I have determined the answer is NO MORE FURNACE AFTER APRIL 1.

And YooHoo, Books do so grow on trees!!! Maybe not on but "from". There you have it. The debate continues as always. Perhaps this is the glue that keeps us doing what we do and have been doing it for ever.

Moles are strange little creatures, blind to most of what we see but cute and furry and, like mushrooms, IN THE DARK.