After several drive throughs at various Tim Hortons around town I said to myself, "Self, no more buying their stupid cookie. You can do much better". Not only is a cookie 95 cents but its just a stupid cookie, not a culinary masterpiece.

I tried a few recipes that I had in my cook books and finally decided to wing it. I have discovered that it is not the ingredients that make a cookie chewy, its how its cooked. Instead of the usual 375 degree oven, I used 370 and cooked them for 12 minutes THEN (and this is the part that makes them chewy), turn off the oven but leave those little buggers inside for 3 more minutes. And VOILA... yummy, chewy oatmeal raisin cookies.

Heres the recipe;

3/4 cup butter
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1-3/4 cups flour
1 tspn baking soda
1 tspn cinnamon
1/2 tspn salt
2-2/3 cups rolled oats
1 cup raisins

The weirdest thing happened. I had two days off in a row (I don't count the weekend as thats just time when I run around getting things done, cooking, cleaning, etc). I have had time....I never have time. I never, ever have time.

My dog got a few fantabadoozie walks/swims, I shaved my legs AND I cleaned the bathtub. I know it wasn't a hallmark moment for creativity but you should feel these hams, man!

I think I will now attempt an artistic feat.

Excuse me now. I'll be back.

Not as easy as one may think to renew old abilities. Although the will is there, the timetable and demands are constant interruptions. My Doitch is dropping by soon with a PC just for me and it will be in my room, away from distraction and phone and kids and neighbours. My art supplies are now there as well and my room is beginning to smell of turps and graphite, a way of infusing creative thoughts into my dreams, as I see it.

Determination is the key. I know I bellyache enough about that elusive artistic lifestyle, but I really am to blame for allowing others to determine how my time is spent. The only one I will absolve of pressuring me is Chester (my lovely puppy) who thinks I exist solely for his entertainment.

Sooooo, today I set up my easel, I rearrange my room to allow for my blogging tool, and I might even change the sheets while I'm up there.

WoooHooo

Having rediscovered my old blog today after many moons away (and having a comment left) I feel somewhat renewed in my hopes of a fruitful, artsy, creative future. I am in great need of feedback from all you others who share in my plight.

I am too old to care about anything but my soul and it is STARVING.

Agnostic by choice, my only real spiritual thing is creativity and that means anything creative. Today it meant developing a new cookie recipe and its a good one. Some days it means painting the Mona Lisa in grey tones (using a grid of course), and other days it means making jewelry or redecorating my living room.

Blogging is good too! I love hearing from others so say Hi! I will respond - I promise!

I am looking for someone who will help me overcome myself! Yeah, thats right. I want to be someone other than me cuz all these years being me has really sucked. I believe that some people are just truly lucky and as positive things occur for them they generate more luck. Its like a cycle of positivity.

I have tried to force myself to be a more positive person and to will goo d things to happen but I am still and always have been an unlucky person. But if you ask anyone who knows me, I am a good person. I devote myself to helping others and they always seem to do very well. They are grateful for my support and count on it and know that their good fortune is partly do to my assistance. But when I try to apply the same efforts to ME, I remain in this awful rut.

Anyone with the time to help me would be welcome.