WARNING!!!This post is not for the faint at heart. If you are a modest individual, provincial, anal or otherwise disturbed by nudity, navigate away from this page immediately.

I am not a modest person and therefore raised two kids who saw their Mum run around half naked, bath with the door open, carry on conversations from the toilet and generally ignore the general "privacy" issues that so many are married to.

I, however, do enjoy a good soak in the tub as a "quiet getaway" after a long and difficult day and it is at times like these, I do close the door and try to release all the tension of my otherwise stress-filled life.

The problem is this; once you've established that all household discussions can and do take place from the tub or the thrown, it is difficult to impress upon those you live with that there are times that they should not impose themselves upon you, naked or otherwise!

Then there is the Mole, who shuts and triple locks the bathroom door to brush his teeth! Yup, "MR. I Don't Care If I Am Entombed", is affraid someone might accidentally notice that he is human and does all the same things everyone else does to remain hygenic. DUH!

We live in this weird twilight zone. Me, I'm irreverent, sarcastic, rude and I play rough and hard with everyday stuff but get weird about the adventurous things and then theres the Mole, who is terrified someone might hear him fart or see him apply deoderant, but will risk life and limb inplaces most rational human beings would never go.

So, I tried to bath last night. Lit candles, had the Ghetto blaster playing softly, poured loads of epsom salts into the water to soak out all that poison ivy, and was just about knocking on heavens door when.........................

BAM BAM BAM "Mum, pull the curtain, I gotta go", the Baby Mole says.
BAM BAM BAM "Mum, I need the blow dryer" Princess MustHaveA says.
BAM BAM BAM "I got 180 hits Sweetpea, come and see", sayeth the Mole.

I know you are all thinking that I deserve it but jeez, this is too much!

I think that the next time I bathe Snuffy in the back yard in his Little Tykes Pool, I'll jump in with him. It would be more relaxing.