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Cadw'r Ddysgl yn Wastad
Monday, June 12, 2006
Inventory of Ailments - Update
Read previous post for the beginning of my sad tale and then for more horror, come back here;

After trying desperately to ignore all the various ailments by drinking copious amounts of wine and watching TV, I jumped on the Mole as he walked through the door,

"Take me to a pharmacy. I can't see to drive so YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME".
"What the hell happened to you eye?", he says.

Now I haven't looked in a mirror all day so I wasn't aware that I was beginning to resemble Quasimoto, so I rushed over to a mirror and let out a scream.

"Now, let's go now", (the wine buzz was probably why I was fuzzy on the whole changing appearance thing).

We arrive at the drug store and I run to the back and tackle the pharmacist.

"Help me, please".

He takes one look at me and asks a few ridiculous questions, by which time I'm scratching myself obscenely, and then says;

"But I think you ought to go to Emergency and have a Doctor look at you".

There wasn't a single seat left in the wating room at the ER, which would mean, roughly, a 6 hour wait. LIKE I'M GOING TO SIT WITH ABUNCH OF STRANGERS AND LET THEM WATCH ME SCRATCH MY NETHER REGIONS!!!! Besides, the drug store would be closed then and I'd have to go all night without any relief.

Back to the drug store.

Benedryl by mouth (makes you sleepy), cortisone cream for immediate topical relief and eye drops so that I keep my grubby fingers away from my now bulbous eyeball.

I drop into bed, want to cry but can't cuz the tears will spead the infection and sting like hell. Can't read with one eye, can't watch TV with one eye and can't sleep cuz I want to loofa myself with sandpaper intil I bleed.

So, this morning, after 3 hours of real sleep, the zit on my chin looks like a boil, I have the start of a canker on my lip, my eye is about swollen shut and I look like I've been wrestling with a porcupine all night.

Off to work I go....